To be perfectly honest with you, blogosphere, the reason for my lack of posts is that lately my life has been a mess.
See, I’ve been going to bed at horrible hours, as I’m typing this it’s 2:27. This means I fall asleep on some couch pretty much as soon as I get home.. Afterwards, I’m too tired to do anything except procrastinate; until it’s around 10PM and I realize I’m going to have to hand something in.
I know I sholdn’t use public space to rant like this, but I’m really not doing great. I’m exhausted - sick of people pressuring me, sick of winter, sick of pressuring myself, sick of thinking about the things I should’ve done yesterday. It’s getting to the point where, for every time I stress, I become paralyzed and can’t work. It’s like the second I get home to work, all motivation flashes before my eyes for a second and jumps out the window!
It’s not even what I have to do. Even my home work is, honestly, fun. I enjoy writing, I enjoy reaing about foreign politics and other interesting-ish subjects.. I enjoy editing photos, I enjoy sharing the Gospel, I enjoy hanging out with friends… So why am I so tired?! Argh.
I haven’t even read my Bible (aside from the odd verse online) for weeks. I have a really good book I’m trying to read about visual communication, but haven’t made it past the first chapter.. Man.
The worst part is that people keep adding tasks to my list. Seemingly minor tasks that seem overwhelming together.. You get the picture.
To make everything seem a little bit worse, it’s also the beginning of February, which means Valentine’s is coming up. Normally I couldn’t care less that I’m single and have nothing to do on the 14th (i.e. no friends around here), and I still don’t. It’s just hard waiting for mr. Right some times, especially when the world expects you to be desperate to find someone.
Sorry about the self-pity-party tonight, I reckon I just needed to get this off my chest..
I guess to sum things up, I’m just in a really dry spot right now. I need energy, motivation, rest and peace. I need somewhere I can just re-charge and not be expected to do anything. I need God…
